Detox

That’s what this weekend has been for me a detox from work, you, and along with all my demons, not implying that you are because you are truly not, on the contrary you are an intoxicant of an entirely different order. And, I’m sorry if I made have ever you feel uncomfortable at any point.

Anyway, I have taken your advice and tried working on my own relationship, but I think much like you said things go, in that regard, very much in cycles. I just hope the current cycle breaks and that it doesn’t repeat.

I suppose that’s what makes it difficult is that, the other one in the relations seems content, or at least not responsive to my effort. I think my next step will be to actually talk to her… hmmmm, what a concept, but not one I’m beyond.
Today was especially tough because my eldest and I spent some time talking and even crying about his frustrations. How I wish I could take those on for him, help him understand that life and people will always be frustrating. What frustrations you might wonder. With the one I’m married to because there are some differences in the way she handles him and yes I’ve talked to her about it but, she doesn’t see it.

If, I had know my kids would have felt this way, I really do wonder that question you had asked me before about how my life would have been different had I married someone else.

See, she’s not what I would describe as an affectionate person and I think that is part of my problem with her as well. The things I love about her, such as the fact that she speaks her mind, comes with a price and that’s the price. She gets extremely frustrated with him, and it effects how she handles him.

You may wonder if he’s a bad kid or unreasonable or an asshole. Well, yeah from time to time he can be, all kids can be but, to characterize him as such would not be fair. See he’s the epitome of me and when she does not accept him for who he is, that hurts, him and me. Funny thing is I don’t think she sees that. Maybe that’s something else I should talk to her about huh?

When I got married this time I said I would never put my kids through all that again, and probably will not, at least while they are living at home, and I will try to make things better for her, myself and my kids. But I’m kinda like you, or kind of like what you said onetime, basically I don’t know where I will be ten years from now or even less now when I do the math.

Don’t know why I am really writing this if nothing else, I know you will listen and it helps me to sort out my thoughts.

So, thank you for listening.