Peace

There is something rejuvenating about being out in nature away from this computer to which I will in all probability be attached to the rest of my life.

No I don't have to look very far or travel a great distance to be out in nature, but, making a conscious decision to leave what I consider my tackle and plow behind, that being the work I do.

My work does not stop on Friday and begin again on Monday. Nor does it end at five on any given day and at this point in my life it is no longer a question of if I want to work, it is a question of when I will work and that gets old.

Desire

Today I had a very strong desire to touch you. I don’t know why, nor what spurned it but out of nowhere there was a physical yearning throughout my body to feel your body next to mine. I wanted to be able to touch and caress you, feel you and taste you. Yeah I know we are being good, but being good isn’t always fun. Being good has its drawbacks too, and I suppose that is one of them, this undeniable desire to touch you.

It seems those desires are at least held at bay a little bit when I know I can call you and talk to you, that helps I suppose, though it is not the same as actually being with you. But, peering into your psyche, your humor, the way you talk, the sound of your voice, do seem to help.

I suppose this is one of my moments of weakness because I know if you were here with me now, I would not be able to not touch you.

Thanksgiving

Things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving:

NOTE: these are not in any order of preference or importance, simply the order in which they pop into my mind. Except for the one about you.

1. To be alive.

As I think about that one, reflecting back to my childhood and one obsession about having a terminal illness. Smiling now as I think about that, yes, I am glad to be alive.

2. My mother, one of the few people I would willing die for.

I remember asking my mother when I was young how old she was. "36" she said. And I remember think how OLD that seemed at the time. That's been 20 years ago, and she lives in another state. No not a another metaphysical but an actual state. (sorry I'm in a funny mood this morning.)

3. Kids, the other few people I would willing die for.

If I had it to do over again, there are times when I would give them back. My kids are in their teens (oops I just dated myself) but, the thing that keeps me from killing them is flashback to when I held them on my chest and rocking them back and forth because that is the only way the could sleep. Of course I think about all the money I would have, trips to the Bahamas, cars and motorcycles if it weren't for them. All you can do is love them through these years.

4. Wife.

Is that a little too honest, outside the bubble? In this blog that is for me to talk about my thoughts and feelings as they are concerned toward you but, she is a good woman.

6. Dog, I like to think she would willingly die for me. :-)

You can't out love a dog. I have learned from experience that you can kick, choke, and cuss your dog and they still love you. The very worst thing you can do to your dog is ignore her. Seems like there is a lesson in there somewhere. Ya think?

7. Car.

I wouldn't say I love my car, lust maybe because, when I'm in my car doing 100+ MPH radio blaring, it is such a rush.

8. Garlic.

For this I am truly in love/lust with. Cheese is a close second.

9. You.

Because you have inspired me on so many levels. Simply read this blog and you will know that. I am thankful that I know you.

Hmmmm

It is unendingly fascinating to me how we can offer advice to each other in regards to our spouses like how to get along with them and make our relationships better.

Is that weird or maybe a little warped? At the very least, it would be considered odd. I suppose that we look to each other for some degree for validation or acceptance could be considered warped by some, maybe even wrong.

Unbelievably the things you tell me are taken to heart, and they do help, but there in lays what should be the dilemma, that being that I am moving away from you, granted, with your advice but strangely enough, I do not feel that. Would it be strange for me to say it has the opposite effect?

Odd that, an interesting paradigm and I find myself wondering why that is, and I can only come up with three possible explanations.

1. You seem to be offering me advice on how to move away from you and we all know, we want what we cannot have.
2. You genuinely want what is best for me and, that in and of itself makes me care for you more.
3. Maybe we (I) are getting comfortable with our relationship in where it is right now.

Who knows, I know I still think about you every day, and want to call and talk to you all the time or at least chat.

Wild Garlic, Part II

The next day I was able to order the computer parts needed for her father’s computer and decided to work out a time when I could come by and fix the computer in question. We set a time for the following evening where we would meet at her father’s house.

“The only thing is no one will be there, my parents are going out of town. Do you have a problem with that?” she asked.

“Ummm. No I don’t have a problem with that.” I responded. “I will be by about six.”

“Okay.”

The next day was long, I was so looking forward to being alone with her. The time finally came to head to her father’s house. Again it was dark and cold that evening and the house did not look as inviting as it did a couple nights ago as I pulled into the driveway. Only a few lights were on but that did nothing to dampen my spirits.

I walked up to the door and rang the bell. In a moment she met me and let me in. I could not get over how she was able to take my breath away seeing her again.

Again she was in blue jeans, a sweater, and socks. I do not know how she did it for I have seen many a woman dressed similarly but no one sent the electricity she sent though my body when she walked.

“Hi, would you like some wine?” she asked. “You can leave your shoes here.” She continued.

“Why, yes, yes I would.” I responded.

“Let’s put those boxes down here in the office and get some then.” She said.

We walked into the office and I placed the boxes I had brought down. She turned around and lead me into the kitchen and I watched the sway of her ass the entire way. She poured both of us a generous helping of white wine and we headed back toward the office.

As we walked into the office the image of her bent over the desk instantly flashed back into my mind. And I could feel myself plump up instantly.

As I began working on the computer, we talked about work, politics, on which she and I could not find a common ground, and sex.

“Oh, we are out of wine, would you like some more?” She asked.

“Of course.” I said.

I continued working and she returned with the rest of the first bottle and another bottle in tow.

“I think I may love this woman.” was the thought that went through my mind upon seeing the wine and yes it was probably the wine talking at the moment but, I knew I wanted to fuck her and fuck her hard.

It was still early, “we” had only been working about an hour but it was evident that we needed some computer parts and we needed some food. We decided to get some of both.

Things being what they were, we decided to get the computer parts first then acquire some food. The restaurant of choice was Italian which we both love dearly and the restaurant we ended up at was one of her favorite for their garlic rolls.

I ordered a beer and she had some wine to have with the salad and garlic rolls. By now we were both feeling pretty good all of our senses being lustfully filled. With every sip of beer and every bite of the rolls I wanted her even more. My oral fixation was really beginning to kick in and I wanted to taste her mouth, her neck, and her pussy.

The meal was beyond compare. It really was one of those hole in the wall kind of places that few people know about but, I would not be forgetting it ever again.

When we finished we returned to her father’s house to finish our work. She graciously poured each of us another glass of wine and we started to work, installing our newly acquired computer parts and continuing our discussions. I loved her mind. Everything she said to me made me think, and the sarcastic humor I find in myself I found in her.

The computer needed to format the hard drive and it was going to take a little time. We decided to get ourselves another bottle of wine so I followed her down to the entertainment room where the wine was stored. There was also in this room an array of various games one of which was pool. Instantly, visions of her bent over the pool table flashed in my head.

“Do you play pool?” she asked.

“I have a stick.” I said.

I know there are probably one thousand and one sexual puns one could use while playing pool. You got your balls, pool sticks, racking of the balls, putting it in the pocket, sinking it in deep… I decided to leave it at “I have a stick”.

“You have to break because I don’t do that.” She said as she opened the bottle of wine and poured us each another glass.

(to be continued)

Winter

The days have been long and I find myself getting tired, physically tired. I do hope I’m not getting sick. It usually seems this time of year when it gets dark so early I find it difficult to motivate myself and even find myself out of sorts. I am determined not to let that happen this year though I can’t wait for December 21 when the days begin to get longer again. I’m going to keep the running up and have set some goals, I will be running in some runs around here preparing for a ½ marathon.

This week has seemed unusually busy and that my have something to do with my lack of motivation. I have found myself thinking about you and when I can spend some time with you again because you are such a joy for me to be around. I find myself laughing, smiling, and seem to forget all my cares if only for a little while. I find myself wanting you and desiring to take you and ravish you then to lay with you hold you, entangled with you.

And with all the holidays coming up it may be a while and with your resolve some of those things may never happen. But, I still think about them and maybe my promise to honor your wishes may soon be diminished.

Smile

It was good to talk to you today, you are always a nice finish to a busy day. You make me smile.

Dreamer

I am a giver so, let me give.
I am a pleaser, so let me please.
I am a lover, so let me love.
I am a dreamer so, let me dream.

You cannot let me be,
All the things that you need.
Grant me this one request,
Leave my dreams... take the rest.

This was inspired in part by you, and in part by W.B. Yates from his poem "He Wishes for the Clothes of Heaven"

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread lightly because you tread on my dreams.

Dreaming

Tonight I was awakened from my sleep while in the middle of a dream. As those things happen, the dream was fully retained in my memory and if I don't at least get some of it down it will be lost for ever because it was a good dream.

As yo can imagine if I'm writing it here then it is probably about you and it was. Maybe it is a result of the time I was able to spend with you this week I don't know but it was not the normal erotic dream you might be expecting.

As dreams go, it was somewhat discontinuous, the story lines were disconnected as you kept coming in and out of subconsciousness.

We were simply together at one point we were asleep on the bed and you were snuggled up to me. Another, we had gone deep sea fishing (don't ask me why) but we were having a good time out on the ocean in the sun. Finally, I was giving you a piggyback ride your legs around my waist, arms around my neck and your head next to mine.

That's all I remember and I've had my cookies and my milk. I will go back to bed now.

Wild Garlic, Part I

I’ve never thought of myself as a computer geek even though I have been called that from time to time. but, I do like to dabble in working on computers mostly to help friends out and on occasion I’ve been known to help out a friend of a friend.

As it happened on this occasion, I had volunteered to help a friend of friend and seeing how I was going to be in town for a week or so it seemed the appropriate thing to do was to offer my services.

Not being the computer geek that I am, my only requirement was to work for wine which I enjoy dearly, sometimes too much.

The evening was cold, wet and very dark and I was soon wishing I hadn’t offered my services. After driving around a bit, I was able to find the large house in the affluent neighborhood. Pulling into the driveway, the house looked warm and inviting and I was ready to relax a bit even though I was there to work.

I got out of the car and walked up to the door and rang the bell and was greeted by a very attractive young lady wearing blue jeans, a blue sweater and black socks with holes exposing that dark toenail polish.

She really had that college girl thing going on with dark tousled hair, cute eyes and a beautiful smile. I've never been that turned on by young women, I've always found women a little older attractive but something about this one was worked. Also, I don’t know why I’ve always had an affinity for short dark hair and I was instantly turn on by her. The electricity she gave off sent shivers down my spine and gave my member a plump disposition.

With a quick hug, she said hello and asked me to come in. We strolled into the living room where I was given the requisite wine, as payment for the services I would to be rendering that evening.

I was introduced to everyone in her family for this was a night that her family got together and it was her father’s computer that was suppose to be the object of my attention that evening, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her and she knew it because I didn’t do a very good job of concealing my attraction to her.

After dinner and another glass of wine, it was time to take a look at the computer in question. I followed her and her father into his office.

Her blue jeans fit her perfectly, and her as was a joy to watch, not just her ass but the way she walked her whole body moved in a sexy orchestra of sensuality.

They say guys have sexual thoughts like every 10 seconds or minute or something. I forget what the statistic is but with two glasses of wine in me and watching this orchestra in motion all of my senses were beginning to overload.

At that moment all I could think about is having my body pressed against her from behind, so she could fee how she excites me and gently kissing her neck, tasting her skin, and smelling her hair.

We made it to the office and I began looking at the computer. From time to time she would lean over the desk pulling the blue jeans tight and standing on her tip-toes to see what was going on. I was full hard on now but she couldn’t see. All I could think about was taking her from behind, fucking her hard, caressing her tits and back while I fucked her. I just wanted to touch every inch of her.

Yep, there was a problem with the computer and that couldn’t be fixed that night. Actually, there were two problems that couldn’t be fixed that night and now one of them was mine, I was beginning to obsess over this lust I had for this woman. I needed to get out of there before all the wine I had drunk that evening kicked all the way in.

“Well, you do have a problem with your computer.” I said. “It will require that I order some parts and come back another time to install them.”

“That will be fine.” Her father said. “Just work it out with my daughter.”

“That sounds good, I’m sure I can get what we need and make it back later in the week.” I said.

I gathered up my things and headed toward the door. She was close behind. I turned to her and gave her a hug and told her I would call her tomorrow. She smiled and gave a quick wink. I wasn’t sure if it was a nervous tick from drinking, or if she was trying to tell me something.

Being the optimist that I am, I decided to hope for the best.

As for the moment I couldn’t get back to my hotel room, because I knew who I would be thinking of tonight when I took care of my needs.

(to be continued)

Tired

It’s late, the end of the day and I sit in my hotel room, on the floor at the end of the bed and I realize that I am tired, both physically and emotionally.

This time it’s not a bad thing. It’s like I’ve come to the end of a journey and all the little things that have been floating around in my head for the past few days have fallen into place. The square pegs falling into the square holes and the round pegs falling into the round holes. And all I have to do now is crawl into bed and sleep.

Before I do though I do have to wonder about one irritating peg that as of yet has not found its little hole and that peg is guilt. I’m not really sure what shape that peg is, maybe it’s still evolving, or maybe it’s an octagon and there aren’t any octagon shapes on my board.

Anyway, here’s what I wonder, the guilt doesn’t seem to bother me as it once did. Yes it’s still there and it is troublesome little peg from time to time.

For the time being I suppose I will leave it be, and go back to my life as it was and be thankful that the “this can only end bad” didn’t happen.

I still wonder about that peg though.

Trying

I have come to the realization that I cannot please everyone, so I will try to please no one.

Don’t get me wrong it is not an issue of not caring what others think about me for in fact I do but, the fact of the matter is I really have no control over what others think about me, be it in business or in relationships and any other areas that aren’t covered under one of those two umbrellas.

SO, I resolve to quit trying and be myself.

You may wonder how this relates to you and even why I am writing this. I suppose the reason is that for whatever reason you don’t seem to need me like you did a couple months ago. I think you would like to know that I’m not mad, hurt or even jealous for I’m not.

I’ve told you before that I want you to be happy in your relationship and that is the truth, and I hope you can find what makes you happy.

Yeah we can still be friends. ;-)

Weary

I have become weary.

At least for the moment my passion has left me. The music I enjoy holds nothing. The running I do, because I have to. The work I do, because it is required of me. I am tired of trying to please those around me, who’s expectations spoken or not press down, smothering the very breath and life out of me.

I hate this feeling, and the dread that comes with it. The dread that just when I think something worse can’t happen, it usually does.

It is during these times I realize my failures, and short comings, for I know they exist but it is during my times of weariness they come crashing in and engulf my being.

Maybe it’s a normal part of life the ebb and flow, the yin to balance the yang. So the weariness must be endured.

I suppose I should be thankful that it does not occupy my life for even greater periods.

Wild Ginger, Part III

I took another drink of my wine and slid my hands to her thighs and kissed her on the neck. She stood up, damn I loved that ass, and I knew I had taken this a bit too far, but to my surprise she turned around and sat down straddling me.

“There” she said, “that should make it easier.” And kissed me on the neck, cheek then my mouth, gently brushing her tongue across my lips. My lips parted and I could taste the wine in her mouth.

My hands moved to hips and pulled her closer to so she could feel my dick. Our kissing intensified growing more passionate with every breath.

My hands had work their way back under her shirt now and her uncovered breasts were perky and firm… her nipples were standing erect and this drove me even wilder my hips were beginning to move now slow and rhythmically straining to free themselves from my shorts. She seem to enjoy the slow shallow methodical ride she was getting.

I slid my hand up under her skirt, along her and caressed her ass. Much to my surprise she was without panties.

I leaned in a little more and was able to reach all the way around to find her pubic hair then back a couple inches to her clit.
She released a sigh and smiled and continued to kiss me.

Slowly and firmly at first I massaged her clit, letting her get use to having me touch her. She was beginning to move rhythmically now, slowly almost instantly. She stopped kissing me and buried hear head into my neck, I could hear her moan with pleasure.

I slipped a thumb into her warm moist pussy and was able to continue massaging her clit.

She was really starting to rock her hips now, and my clit finger had change to a faster lighter touch with my thumb inside her. Though her shirt I was able to nibble on her nipples. This really seemed to send her over the edged.

She bit her lip, closed her eyes and everything tensed at once. Her pussy clamped down on my thumb and I could feel the organism radiating through her body.

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

“I want you inside me. Now!”

A quick look around I could see we were in the clear, or at least it seemed that way, because to be honest I really wasn’t thinking about where we where or if anyone was around or not.

I quickly undid my shorts, slid them down and settle into my seat.

She lifted her skirt and I could see her dark bush I had already been acquainted with.

I watched as the bright red head of my dick disappeared into her perfect pussy. She was warm, moist and ready for me, it was perfect, she was perfect.

She began to rock back and forth, rolling her hips front to back, all I had to do was sit there but I couldn’t. I put my hands on her hips and began to feel the rhythm. With her hands on my shoulders to steady herself I could feel her intensify. The aroma we were giving off was intoxicating, we smelled like sex, strong and musky. I could taste it in her mouth too.

Damn, she was ready to cum again, and so was I . As soon as she started, I couldn’t wait any longer. For what seemed like hours I’d had a hard on for this woman and I would not be any containing it any longer.

My hips vaulted with the release which seemed to last for ever, and I was barely able to control the scream which came from my mouth.
When we were both done, she kissed me.

“That was the best girls night out I’ve ever had” she said.

“That was the best girls night out I’ve ever had” I said.

She stood up and adjusted her skirt, and I slid my shorts back on.

We left the restaurant together and I walked her to her car.

“I’m glad I got to know you better” I said.

“Me too.” She said.

Wild Ginger, Part II

I returned to the bar and ordered a bottle of wine and took it to the patio.
There were not many people outside, and it was still light though the sun was beginning to fade. The band sounded better out here without the encumbrances of people, walls, windows and doors.

There has always been something liberating about being outdoors and here was no exception.

I found a table sat down and waited. After a little time she appeared and walked toward me with a sly smile on her face. That walk, was probably just as sexy walking toward me as it was walking away, the way her hips moved from side to side, I could only image them moving back and forth on top of me.

She sat down and I poured her a glass of wine and I drank in the wine, the music, the atmosphere and her. A more perfect evening I could not ask for.

At least from my perspective the wine was beginning to work it’s magic and I began to notice the little things that a couple glasses of wine allow you to notice. Like the way she moved her toes, crossed her legs brushed her hair out of her face, and the color of her hazel eyes.
Everything seemed to slow down all at once and all at once I wanted to touch her… I was beyond being able to control myself, the excitement of having her near was growing and taking it’s toll.

I slid my foot out of my flip flops and moved my foot on top of hers. I’m not a foot fetish kind of guy but to touch her skin with mine made me flush a bit.

We continued talking about music, politics, food and wine, while we sat there and the band played on.

I moved closer, and took her leg, and began massaging her calf. A slight smile crossed her face and I could feel myself relax just a degree.

Moving closer still I began to massage her thigh.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Something I’ve always wanted.” I said. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you”

A slight rise of her eyebrows and a quick glance away, the "whatever" glance.

The crowd was beginning to thin and the sun was just about gone now. I slid my hand up to her crouch and massaged there a moment. She was warm and beginning to get moist. I’m glad I wasn’t alone because I was pitching more than a pup tent by now and the ache within was strong.

The waitress appeared and we ordered another bottle of wine. She smiled at us both for a moment then left. I’m sure this is not the first time she’s seen this sort of thing.

I returned to my seat and decided to cool my heals just a bit until our wine arrived.

Once the wine was opened and poured, I got up and walked behind her and put my cheek next to hers. I could smell her then, the sweet aroma of the wine on her breath, and sweet aroma of arousal. It’s very faint but it’s there and I can smell it.

“I’ve always wanted to do this too.” I said and kissed her cheek.

“hmmmm” she said.

I continued kissing along her jaw line to the top of her neck, just below the ear, a slight nibble on her earlobe. I could physically feel her shiver, and a slight moan.

My hands have moved to her shoulders and down her arms. It was getting harder and harder to control myself. I wanted her! I wanted to take her right there.
“You know, I can probably rub your back a little better if you were to sit on my lap facing me.” I said.

“Really now?” she said. “And how’s that suppose to work?”

“Well, I sit here, and you sit on my lap with facing away from me.”

“I see.” She said.

I sat down and she got up, and moved to my lap. Damn she felt good. She was sitting on my thighs so she couldn’t feel my hard on and that I was thankful for.

I began rubbing her back as she sipped on her wine. Her body felt good under my hands.

I took a sip of my wine and slid my hands under her shirt to rub her bear skin. I swear she shivered again. I was way beyond shivering, I was in full hard on to the point where if I didn't set myself free, I was going to damage something.

(to be continued)

Wild Ginger, Part I

It had been a long day and I needed to unwind a little so after checking into my hotel and changing into my favorite pair of shorts, polo, and flip-flops, I fancied upon a neighborhood bar/restaurant in this town in which I did not live. I walked in and sat down at the bar and ordered some wine, white in nature. I’ve never been one for the macho man bullshit, I like to think of myself as the strong silent type, suave, sophisticated. Yeah right… I keep telling myself that, I just like wine.

Anyway, I sat in the bar drinking wine and listening to the band that played outside… both the wine and the music were good, and they were both hitting the spot. I was beginning to relax.

I couldn’t help but notice her as she sat across the room with her friends. They were sharing a bottle of wine and laughing, talking about whatever women talk about when they are out on their own. Whatever it was it seemed quite funny and I couldn’t help but smile.

Her shoulder length dark hair bounced as she talked. She was one of those talkers that smiled as she talked and that proved to be infectious to those around her. She used her hands to express herself as well and it was all a big turn on. Every time she threw her head back exposing back exposing her creamy, sumptuous neck in laughter my heart pounded a little harder.

She wasn’t dressed provocatively, simply a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and open toed shoes which showed her dark red toenails.

It was at the point of her second laughter I knew I had to spend some time with her. She is so full of life, the way she moved, the way she talked, and the way she laughed, I found myself consumed with passion which was evidenced by the tent I was beginning to pitch. Thank all that is right in the world for cloth napkins.

No, this was not the first time I had seen her, for I had know her for a few years and had always watched her with interest, the way she moved and talked even then was sexy, passionate, and a helluva turn on. She never knew I watch her then but I did and now I had a chance to watch her again and this time, yes this time I would do something about it.

Yeah, I know plans of such nature never go according to plan but, very rarely does someone strike such strong feelings within me. So what’s the worst that could happen, a slap? A scream? Or even worse a laugh?

Yeah, I was in a relationship and I knew she was too but, damn could she be the perfect woman… and that night she was. Funny thing is women like that never seem to know how perfect they are and I honestly don’t believe she realizes it to this day. I knew if I ever kissed her I would not be able to stop.

As I sat there watching, wondering, plotting how I would approach her and let her know just what she does to me both inside and out, she got up and headed toward the bathroom. Quickly I removed my camouflage and headed in her direction.

The point of decision was upon me, because I knew she had not seen me yet. So, I decided to play the “Opps I just brushed up against your ass and didn’t mean to” card.

I’ve been told that women “know” every time they are touched, even in a crowded room. Now was time to test the theory.

I quickened my pace and reached her as she reached for the bathroom door, and coolly played my card. Bingo! She turned a little startled and before I could get my apology out (no that's not guy code for anything), an instant look of recognition spread across her face and even a slight smile.

“Hi. Fancy meeting you here.” I said. “Sorry, about the ass thing.”

“No you aren’t!” she exclaimed, “I’ll let it slide this time. But, don’t let it happen again!” she said smiling and poking me in the chest.

With hands raised I said, “Never again!”

I continued, “Hey, I was wondering if you and your friends would like to go out on the patio and listen to the band? You could bring your wine”

Someone shuffled between us and headed to the women’s room and we decided it would be best to step out of the way.

“Well, we are almost done and I’m sure they need to go but I will be out there in a bit.” She said.

“Perfect.”

As I watched her walk away I couldn’t help but watch her ass… No, it’s not the tightest ass there has ever been but something in the way she moves, that walk, it sure makes any man look. I would have paid good money right then and there for a pair of x-ray glasses.

Damn, I was starting to pitch my tent again, this time without any sort of camouflage.

(to be continued)