You can never love anyone until you learn to love yourself.
Download dell r210 manual Gutenberg PDF
5 years ago
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Pussy Whipped
Keeping all the pussies in line is tough work. These unsung heros deserve our respect.
I'm sorry but this video has ALWAYS cracked me up. I'm a cat lover and you really have to understand the personalities of cats to fully appreciate this video clip.
I'm sorry but this video has ALWAYS cracked me up. I'm a cat lover and you really have to understand the personalities of cats to fully appreciate this video clip.
Shackism #8
Beat me, spank me, make me feel cheap.
From time to time I exhibit self destructive tendencies, and combine that with my clinical tendencies for obsession and compulsion, well what else can I say.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Shackism #7
An ounce of appearance is worth a pound of performance.
I've given these Shackisms a little thought and there is usually a little story that goes with each one so, I thought I might share a little.
In this particular instance , and I'm sure we have all experienced it from time to time but there is always that person at work, or down at the club, that damn they look good, and seem to get all the attention for really doing nothing, but hell if they don't look the part. Never mind there are others that actually do the work and keep the place running.
Don't get me wrong it never hurts to look good or look the part, but the whole point of this statement is that you can't always trust what you see.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Is Driving Sexual?
I had to ask myself this question today. See, today I had to drive to another city to pick up my kids, it's roughly 250 miles away and it's not a bad drive, I actually enjoy driving, but this holiday traffic is not too much fun, too many crazies on the road you know. Driving allows me plenty of time to think, and I am a thinker, today I was a singer, singing along with the songs on XM after I had my triple cafe latte.
At any rate, I was clicking along between 80 and 90, which is what I normally do if I can find a good "bird dog" to sniff out the state troopers and various city police.
Anyway to make a short story even shorter, this dude comes up on my rear pretty quickly so I move over to let him pass. As I may have mentioned in the past I have a love affair with my care, pretty much because It can haul ass and I like pretty much all female ass (yes my car is a girl, but she doesn't have a name. I may have to do something about this. Of course an unnamed woman, does have an air of mystic about it)
I decided to play with my new bird dog cuz he was driving one of those fancy Caddy's with the dual exhaust and hard lines. It's suppose to be pretty hot stuff. I cranked it up to about 110 to catch up to him, and this seemed to irritate him somewhat.
We ran into some traffic and had to slow down a bit and I decided to let him act a fool an weave in and out of the traffic. Yeah I caught him about 10 miles later and I didn't really act a fool.
I had reached my destination and realized I was sporting a chubby. Damn, that was fun, too bad I didn't have time to look for an oriental massage place. :) Oh yeah, I did say I wasn't going to do that anymore. hmmm.
At any rate, I was clicking along between 80 and 90, which is what I normally do if I can find a good "bird dog" to sniff out the state troopers and various city police.
Anyway to make a short story even shorter, this dude comes up on my rear pretty quickly so I move over to let him pass. As I may have mentioned in the past I have a love affair with my care, pretty much because It can haul ass and I like pretty much all female ass (yes my car is a girl, but she doesn't have a name. I may have to do something about this. Of course an unnamed woman, does have an air of mystic about it)
I decided to play with my new bird dog cuz he was driving one of those fancy Caddy's with the dual exhaust and hard lines. It's suppose to be pretty hot stuff. I cranked it up to about 110 to catch up to him, and this seemed to irritate him somewhat.
We ran into some traffic and had to slow down a bit and I decided to let him act a fool an weave in and out of the traffic. Yeah I caught him about 10 miles later and I didn't really act a fool.
I had reached my destination and realized I was sporting a chubby. Damn, that was fun, too bad I didn't have time to look for an oriental massage place. :) Oh yeah, I did say I wasn't going to do that anymore. hmmm.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
My Gift To You
I debated about sharing this story that NEVER fails to bring a tear to my eye, if not openly bawling like a baby. I do not pretend to preach theology to anyone, nor cast judgments on anyone for what they may or may not believe. You will see what I mean if you read the story.
This is the story of a little boy that doesn't quite fit in, and when push comes to shove he gives of himself the things that are most valuable to him in all the world and in comparison to the other gifts, it was really nothing at all.
Those of you that have kids may see them in this story, others may see yourselves. I see myself, and my kids.
Anyway here it is: The Littlest Angel
This is the story of a little boy that doesn't quite fit in, and when push comes to shove he gives of himself the things that are most valuable to him in all the world and in comparison to the other gifts, it was really nothing at all.
Those of you that have kids may see them in this story, others may see yourselves. I see myself, and my kids.
Anyway here it is: The Littlest Angel
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Clarification
I've received some questions about my current situation and I thought it would be good to clear up any misconceptions about me, just so anyone whom may happen to read this blog may know where I am coming from.
I am NOT involved with anyone at this point in time. This blog was started when I was kinda involved with someone that I had a strong connection with. Through reasons that are not 100% clear to me, we are no longer "involved".
The stories I started writing about, in particular Wild Ginger, and Wild Garlic, were part fact and part fantasy but they were stories for and about her. Stories I write now, in particular Road Trip, are stories from many years ago. It's nice to go over those in my mind and share a little.
That said, I am pretty much being a good boy, except for this latest obsession called the Shackleford Diaries, which I enjoy writing, and reading about the lives of others that have been or are in my same situation.
I am NOT involved with anyone at this point in time. This blog was started when I was kinda involved with someone that I had a strong connection with. Through reasons that are not 100% clear to me, we are no longer "involved".
The stories I started writing about, in particular Wild Ginger, and Wild Garlic, were part fact and part fantasy but they were stories for and about her. Stories I write now, in particular Road Trip, are stories from many years ago. It's nice to go over those in my mind and share a little.
That said, I am pretty much being a good boy, except for this latest obsession called the Shackleford Diaries, which I enjoy writing, and reading about the lives of others that have been or are in my same situation.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Road Trip, Part III
I moved down to kissing her neck, and she turned her head and let out an auditable moan, as my hands found their way to the bare skin of her back, so soft and supple. She was beginning to get that fuck me now look in her eyes, but I wanted to enjoy her body a little longer.
I discovered she was braless, and my hands found their way to her breasts. She raised her arms over her head and I slid off her shirt, reveling her quarter sized nipples which were fully erect. I moved to kissing her breasts and she rubbed on my cock through my jeans. Those tits were perfect and she seemed to grow more excited with each flick of my tongue and nibble of my teeth.
By now she was backed against a big tree, we were fully in it's shade, off the beaten path. Being out here with this woman's hands on me was quite a turn on.
I slid one had under her skirt to discover, what I had only hoped for earlier, and that was she wasn't wearing any panties. She slid her skirt down, and stepped out of it, and leaned back against the tree with her legs spread just enough to allow me access.
"fuck me now" she said.
"no"
I went down on my knees and spread her legs just a little more and began working her pussy with my tongue, lips and teeth. She was already wet, and the pungent scent of her desire was evident. As I continued to eat her, she began to play with her tits with one hand and the top of my head with the other. I love to see women play with themselves, and I didn't know if I could wait any longer.
I slid a finger into her pussy, and began with slow methodical strokes, in and out, as my tongue rubbed her clit. Her desire was building, and I slid another finger, along with the first into her moist pussy. She cried out "oh fuck", and I began to suck her clit. It was only a matter of a few sucks before she began to moan and cum.
I felt her pussy contract on my fingers, and her legs would not remain still. There was no way I was going to keep my mouth on her, so I kept my fingers right where they were and kissed her on the mouth. She seemed to really enjoy this kissing me on the outside and inside of my mouth.
Then she stopped and looked me in the eye. "Fuck me now". "Yeeees, I will fuck you now", I blurted out.
Her hands had undone my pants, and I slid them down around my ankles. I only got one leg out before I realized I was inside her hot moist pussy. She seemed to savor the moment I slid my dick into her, and wrapped her arms around me and she grabbed my ass this time. Slowly at first, she guided me in and out, and with each stroke of my hard throbbing cock, she was getting turn on again.
I watched her tits bounce as I reached the end of each stroke. This was such a turn on. Her nipples were standing firm and erect. She reached up and pinched one of her nipples, and let out another moan. Damn, I wanted her to cum again, but, she felt too good, I was enjoying this ride for all it was worth.
Soon my thrusts came harder and more demanding, and before I realized it I had let out a yell, that I'm sure could be heard for miles.
When I was finished I looked at her beautiful face, tousled hair, and fresh fucked glow and started laughing, for she had the biggest grin.
"I didn't even get my shirt off.", I said.
"There will be plenty of time for that later, I'm sure" she said.
We gathered up our clothing and whatnots and headed back to the car. This day was turning out to be a VERY good idea.
(to be continued)
I discovered she was braless, and my hands found their way to her breasts. She raised her arms over her head and I slid off her shirt, reveling her quarter sized nipples which were fully erect. I moved to kissing her breasts and she rubbed on my cock through my jeans. Those tits were perfect and she seemed to grow more excited with each flick of my tongue and nibble of my teeth.
By now she was backed against a big tree, we were fully in it's shade, off the beaten path. Being out here with this woman's hands on me was quite a turn on.
I slid one had under her skirt to discover, what I had only hoped for earlier, and that was she wasn't wearing any panties. She slid her skirt down, and stepped out of it, and leaned back against the tree with her legs spread just enough to allow me access.
"fuck me now" she said.
"no"
I went down on my knees and spread her legs just a little more and began working her pussy with my tongue, lips and teeth. She was already wet, and the pungent scent of her desire was evident. As I continued to eat her, she began to play with her tits with one hand and the top of my head with the other. I love to see women play with themselves, and I didn't know if I could wait any longer.
I slid a finger into her pussy, and began with slow methodical strokes, in and out, as my tongue rubbed her clit. Her desire was building, and I slid another finger, along with the first into her moist pussy. She cried out "oh fuck", and I began to suck her clit. It was only a matter of a few sucks before she began to moan and cum.
I felt her pussy contract on my fingers, and her legs would not remain still. There was no way I was going to keep my mouth on her, so I kept my fingers right where they were and kissed her on the mouth. She seemed to really enjoy this kissing me on the outside and inside of my mouth.
Then she stopped and looked me in the eye. "Fuck me now". "Yeeees, I will fuck you now", I blurted out.
Her hands had undone my pants, and I slid them down around my ankles. I only got one leg out before I realized I was inside her hot moist pussy. She seemed to savor the moment I slid my dick into her, and wrapped her arms around me and she grabbed my ass this time. Slowly at first, she guided me in and out, and with each stroke of my hard throbbing cock, she was getting turn on again.
I watched her tits bounce as I reached the end of each stroke. This was such a turn on. Her nipples were standing firm and erect. She reached up and pinched one of her nipples, and let out another moan. Damn, I wanted her to cum again, but, she felt too good, I was enjoying this ride for all it was worth.
Soon my thrusts came harder and more demanding, and before I realized it I had let out a yell, that I'm sure could be heard for miles.
When I was finished I looked at her beautiful face, tousled hair, and fresh fucked glow and started laughing, for she had the biggest grin.
"I didn't even get my shirt off.", I said.
"There will be plenty of time for that later, I'm sure" she said.
We gathered up our clothing and whatnots and headed back to the car. This day was turning out to be a VERY good idea.
(to be continued)
Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm Sick
I have finally come to the conclusion that yes, I am sick. No it is not a fetish for feet, not that a fetish for feet is sick, though some might argue that point. Nor is it something that is so cool and grandiose as an adrenalin rush fixation which must be satisfied from time to time.
Yes, I do believe you can tell a lot about a person from their hands and feet. As a matter of fact hand and feet can be a turn on but it is a distinct plus in someone's favor, if they take care of their hands and feet. Okay, fuck me red nail polish is a turn on.
No, I am really sick. I suppose it is that time of year and you may have already experienced begin sick yourself this year, it's just a cold. And even though I pretty much feel crappy, I have reaffirmed a few things about myself so I thought I would share.
1. I get HORNY when I am sick. This may or may not be normal, but I find myself turned on quite easily, especially when I am just starting to get sick. The problem is I don't feel like exerting myself but, those times that I do, it is nice, and I am able to get some much needed rest.
2. I adopt a "I don't give a shit!" attitude. This is because, well, I don't give a shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an asshole, I just really don't feel like dealing with other people's shit. I'm sick damn it, so leave me alone.
Of course from time to time this attitude is in direct conflict with item 1 and creates a dilemma for which I really should find a solution.
3. No one is going to take care of me the way my mother use to. I know what you may be thinking, "well, you didn't marry your mother." Yes, I recognize this fact, and I don't expect anyone to take care of me the way she did, when I was a boy. But, what is nice to have from time to time, sick or not is that "I love you no matter what" affirmation, that only a mother can give to her child.
Oh well, this too will pass. I have some work to do while I'm conscious, and before my drugs kick in really good I suppose I had better do some of it.
Yes, I do believe you can tell a lot about a person from their hands and feet. As a matter of fact hand and feet can be a turn on but it is a distinct plus in someone's favor, if they take care of their hands and feet. Okay, fuck me red nail polish is a turn on.
No, I am really sick. I suppose it is that time of year and you may have already experienced begin sick yourself this year, it's just a cold. And even though I pretty much feel crappy, I have reaffirmed a few things about myself so I thought I would share.
1. I get HORNY when I am sick. This may or may not be normal, but I find myself turned on quite easily, especially when I am just starting to get sick. The problem is I don't feel like exerting myself but, those times that I do, it is nice, and I am able to get some much needed rest.
2. I adopt a "I don't give a shit!" attitude. This is because, well, I don't give a shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an asshole, I just really don't feel like dealing with other people's shit. I'm sick damn it, so leave me alone.
Of course from time to time this attitude is in direct conflict with item 1 and creates a dilemma for which I really should find a solution.
3. No one is going to take care of me the way my mother use to. I know what you may be thinking, "well, you didn't marry your mother." Yes, I recognize this fact, and I don't expect anyone to take care of me the way she did, when I was a boy. But, what is nice to have from time to time, sick or not is that "I love you no matter what" affirmation, that only a mother can give to her child.
Oh well, this too will pass. I have some work to do while I'm conscious, and before my drugs kick in really good I suppose I had better do some of it.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
HNT
At least I figured out how to pre-date this stuff so some people (Helen) won't give me a hard time about posting early!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monogamous Sinner
Lionia coined the term polygamous sinner the other day and I was so intrigued with the term that I took it a step further and coined the term monogamous sinner.
As you can very well guess, because the terms are somewhat self explanatory, a polygamous sinner is someone that is having an affair with multiple people, excluding one's spouse of course, at the same time, so it would stand to reason that a monogamous sinner is one that is interested in hmmm, extracurricular activates with one person at time.
I fall into the latter category and as of late, neither one of the categories, so you, my dear readers, participants and observers get to reap the benefit of my situation at this point in time.
Why do I even mention all this? No reason really, I just liked the terms and wanted to use them somehow, and to share a little, now you know a little more about me. :)
Today, I don't know what to write about. No, I do not feel obligated to write something everyday but, sometimes it seems to some in spurts so you get the benefit of my spurtations (my own word).
I've got at least two topics going on right now, of course there's Road Trip, which I need to finish documenting, and then the safe internet practices thing and to be honest I'm not really feeling that at the moment.
I think what I'm feeling today is disenchantment... Yeah I can hear you now, "great another bitch session", well I don't have anyone else to bitch to at the moment so you get to listen, or Not, you can click over to something else. Ya gotta love the Internet.
Anyway, yesterday, I had an offer to change jobs, and of course being the expert negotiator that I am I told them I would like to think about it for a day or two and of course this would give me a chance to talk it over with W.
You know how much I work, I think I covered that in my last bitch session, anyway this would mean that I could work less and yes it would mean less money, but not a whole lot, the long and short of it was W wasn't too happy about it, then today she plays the "you work too hard card", and this really sent me over the edge. I mean damned if I do and damned if I don't.
I'm like WTF. I'm willing to admit I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box but, I do have an above average IQ, and I'm going to take care of the things that need to be taken care of... House payment, food, water, electricity, car payments, cable TV and phone... You get the idea.
Yes I will do what needs to be done to make it work, but sometimes it would be nice to have a little support. See now why I say I feel like a plow horse? Sometimes it would be nice if someone would just get on top from time to time.
Well that's my bitch for today, no matter what I do or think about doing it ain't right, or that's the way it seems. Thanks for listening , I feel better now.
As you can very well guess, because the terms are somewhat self explanatory, a polygamous sinner is someone that is having an affair with multiple people, excluding one's spouse of course, at the same time, so it would stand to reason that a monogamous sinner is one that is interested in hmmm, extracurricular activates with one person at time.
I fall into the latter category and as of late, neither one of the categories, so you, my dear readers, participants and observers get to reap the benefit of my situation at this point in time.
Why do I even mention all this? No reason really, I just liked the terms and wanted to use them somehow, and to share a little, now you know a little more about me. :)
Today, I don't know what to write about. No, I do not feel obligated to write something everyday but, sometimes it seems to some in spurts so you get the benefit of my spurtations (my own word).
I've got at least two topics going on right now, of course there's Road Trip, which I need to finish documenting, and then the safe internet practices thing and to be honest I'm not really feeling that at the moment.
I think what I'm feeling today is disenchantment... Yeah I can hear you now, "great another bitch session", well I don't have anyone else to bitch to at the moment so you get to listen, or Not, you can click over to something else. Ya gotta love the Internet.
Anyway, yesterday, I had an offer to change jobs, and of course being the expert negotiator that I am I told them I would like to think about it for a day or two and of course this would give me a chance to talk it over with W.
You know how much I work, I think I covered that in my last bitch session, anyway this would mean that I could work less and yes it would mean less money, but not a whole lot, the long and short of it was W wasn't too happy about it, then today she plays the "you work too hard card", and this really sent me over the edge. I mean damned if I do and damned if I don't.
I'm like WTF. I'm willing to admit I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box but, I do have an above average IQ, and I'm going to take care of the things that need to be taken care of... House payment, food, water, electricity, car payments, cable TV and phone... You get the idea.
Yes I will do what needs to be done to make it work, but sometimes it would be nice to have a little support. See now why I say I feel like a plow horse? Sometimes it would be nice if someone would just get on top from time to time.
Well that's my bitch for today, no matter what I do or think about doing it ain't right, or that's the way it seems. Thanks for listening , I feel better now.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Incognito
In light of recent development on some sites that I visit on a regular basis I though I might start a series on safe Internet surfing. The developments I am speaking of are on Button's site as well as Insatiable Kate.
Disclaimer: To be honest I have pondered doing this for a while simply because it feels a tad funny enabling people in things that generally are not good for them. NO NO NO, I am the last one to cast judgment, and I would never do that, and I am right there with you but, rarely do the things we typically discuss end well, without someone getting hurt, and that's what i feel a little funny enabling.
Also, I cannot be held responsible for anything you read on this blog, and surmise or decide to use. Please only do so at your own risk
Anyway that said, here we go:
Topic 1: Keeping your computer clean.
I have recently discovered Google Chrome, and have also discovered that his browser has a function that will let you surf the internet "incognito". You simply go to the little tool in the top right hand corner and click. Then select "New incognito window", and a new window sill pop up (See figure 1). You can also invoke the incognito window by clicking CNTL-SHIFT-N all at the same time.
What this function will allow you to do is surf the internet without leaving any traces on the computer. It is akin to visiting your banking website, and it may ask you if you are on a public computer, and if so, it will delete all passwords, cookies, and URLs that you might have used while using the browser. NOTE: any files and you may download, such as pictures will still be preserved.
Another thing I like about this function is that, when you close the window, it doesn't pause and ask you if you want to close all the tabs, it simply closes with little to no fan fair.
You can use this function for anything you normally do on the internet with some degree of assurance you are not leaving any tracks on your computer.
There are some things to do as well in other browsers such as IE, Firefox, and the lot, and we may discuss those. Google Chrome is simply easy to use, with very little setup required.
If you are interested in this and other topics please let me know and I will continue. If not I just may drop it.
Disclaimer: To be honest I have pondered doing this for a while simply because it feels a tad funny enabling people in things that generally are not good for them. NO NO NO, I am the last one to cast judgment, and I would never do that, and I am right there with you but, rarely do the things we typically discuss end well, without someone getting hurt, and that's what i feel a little funny enabling.
Also, I cannot be held responsible for anything you read on this blog, and surmise or decide to use. Please only do so at your own risk
Anyway that said, here we go:
Topic 1: Keeping your computer clean.
I have recently discovered Google Chrome, and have also discovered that his browser has a function that will let you surf the internet "incognito". You simply go to the little tool in the top right hand corner and click. Then select "New incognito window", and a new window sill pop up (See figure 1). You can also invoke the incognito window by clicking CNTL-SHIFT-N all at the same time.
What this function will allow you to do is surf the internet without leaving any traces on the computer. It is akin to visiting your banking website, and it may ask you if you are on a public computer, and if so, it will delete all passwords, cookies, and URLs that you might have used while using the browser. NOTE: any files and you may download, such as pictures will still be preserved.
Another thing I like about this function is that, when you close the window, it doesn't pause and ask you if you want to close all the tabs, it simply closes with little to no fan fair.
You can use this function for anything you normally do on the internet with some degree of assurance you are not leaving any tracks on your computer.
There are some things to do as well in other browsers such as IE, Firefox, and the lot, and we may discuss those. Google Chrome is simply easy to use, with very little setup required.
If you are interested in this and other topics please let me know and I will continue. If not I just may drop it.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Road Trip, Part II
We had decided to meet the following week in a hospital parking lot, far away from work. I had been sitting there about ten minutes, beginning to wonder if this really was a good idea or not, when she drove up in her green Honda Accord.
Instantly my doubts disappeared when I saw her but, through the glass I could tell she still had some second thoughts in her eyes. I smiled and winked at her though the glass, and this got me a sly smile. I nodded enthusiastically, like the excited nervous puppy I was, and shrugged my shoulders. She smiled even wider with a more confident and nodded back and motioned for me to come get in her car. I obliged and she hopped out of the driver seat to walk around to the other side of the car.
I couldn’t help but notice she took my advice about wearing a skirt which made me smile, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was wearing panties or not. I had only admired her ass from afar but today, she was up close and personal and I enjoyed the thought of sharing this day with her.
I didn’t know what the day would hold, but I knew, we were doing this together, and it was going to be one to remember. I opened my trunk and got out the cooler I had, and put it on her back seat.
“What’s in there?” she asked.
“Our wine. We can’t have a road trip without wine.”
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, just to see how she was going to react, a test kiss if you will. To my pleasant surprise, she turned and slipped on hand behind my neck and pulled me into her. Her soft lips found mine, then her tongue, found mine, and her hand found my thigh. The kiss itself was deep and soulful, probing and exploitative and I reciprocated poring my very being into the kiss. For a moment the outside world was blocked out, I was not aware of anything other than her kiss and her hand on my thigh.
We gently ended the kiss, she pulled back, and looked me in the eyes, which seemed to want to swallow me up. “No, we can’t have a road trip without a kiss first.” She said. The words wouldn’t come to me at first so I simply smiled a half-grin and said “um hmm”.
Turning back to the steering wheel, I put the car in gear, and began to drive. Her hand never moved from my thigh, so I slid my hand over to hers and we rode in silence for a bit, she was looking out the window, and was most assuredly she was wondering what she had just done, and what she would be willing to do, for I was thinking the same thing.
After a while, I said, “Hey, if you are really feeling like a rebel, why don’t you get out a bottle of wine, there are some cups to pore it in so we don’t get busted”. She complied and soon we were cruising down the interstate, drinking wine, listening to music, bitching about work, and some of the things that made us tick. Her hand was still on my thigh and from time to time on my dick, as we drove, drank and talked.
We came to a state park which from the looks of it was rather empty, and found a place with no one around to park. We broke out the sandwiches I had brought and continued our discussions.
Finally I suggest that we talk a hike though the woods, on one of the trails and this idea she was all game for. We topped off our cups with wine and headed out into the wilderness. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the trees were green but it wasn’t quite warm enough yet to be hot and sticky. Well at least the weather wasn’t. I knew I was hot and sticky already.
As we walked my hand had found it’s way to her waist, and we stopped and kissed, some more of those deep, soulful kisses, as she pressed herself into me, and my dick which couldn’t get much harder. I grabbed her ass and said "I want you now!"
(to be continued)
Instantly my doubts disappeared when I saw her but, through the glass I could tell she still had some second thoughts in her eyes. I smiled and winked at her though the glass, and this got me a sly smile. I nodded enthusiastically, like the excited nervous puppy I was, and shrugged my shoulders. She smiled even wider with a more confident and nodded back and motioned for me to come get in her car. I obliged and she hopped out of the driver seat to walk around to the other side of the car.
I couldn’t help but notice she took my advice about wearing a skirt which made me smile, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was wearing panties or not. I had only admired her ass from afar but today, she was up close and personal and I enjoyed the thought of sharing this day with her.
I didn’t know what the day would hold, but I knew, we were doing this together, and it was going to be one to remember. I opened my trunk and got out the cooler I had, and put it on her back seat.
“What’s in there?” she asked.
“Our wine. We can’t have a road trip without wine.”
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, just to see how she was going to react, a test kiss if you will. To my pleasant surprise, she turned and slipped on hand behind my neck and pulled me into her. Her soft lips found mine, then her tongue, found mine, and her hand found my thigh. The kiss itself was deep and soulful, probing and exploitative and I reciprocated poring my very being into the kiss. For a moment the outside world was blocked out, I was not aware of anything other than her kiss and her hand on my thigh.
We gently ended the kiss, she pulled back, and looked me in the eyes, which seemed to want to swallow me up. “No, we can’t have a road trip without a kiss first.” She said. The words wouldn’t come to me at first so I simply smiled a half-grin and said “um hmm”.
Turning back to the steering wheel, I put the car in gear, and began to drive. Her hand never moved from my thigh, so I slid my hand over to hers and we rode in silence for a bit, she was looking out the window, and was most assuredly she was wondering what she had just done, and what she would be willing to do, for I was thinking the same thing.
After a while, I said, “Hey, if you are really feeling like a rebel, why don’t you get out a bottle of wine, there are some cups to pore it in so we don’t get busted”. She complied and soon we were cruising down the interstate, drinking wine, listening to music, bitching about work, and some of the things that made us tick. Her hand was still on my thigh and from time to time on my dick, as we drove, drank and talked.
We came to a state park which from the looks of it was rather empty, and found a place with no one around to park. We broke out the sandwiches I had brought and continued our discussions.
Finally I suggest that we talk a hike though the woods, on one of the trails and this idea she was all game for. We topped off our cups with wine and headed out into the wilderness. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the trees were green but it wasn’t quite warm enough yet to be hot and sticky. Well at least the weather wasn’t. I knew I was hot and sticky already.
As we walked my hand had found it’s way to her waist, and we stopped and kissed, some more of those deep, soulful kisses, as she pressed herself into me, and my dick which couldn’t get much harder. I grabbed her ass and said "I want you now!"
(to be continued)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Bitch Session
Note: If you don't like to hear guys bitch about stuff, then you need read no further. Go find something a little more interesting to read.
I work hard every day. I go to a "normal" job five days a week which typically consists of eight hours of work. Then when I come home I usually retire to my office where I work a minimum of four to six hours every night. I put in a minimum sixteen hours on the weekend.
Why do I work so much? Necessity, see the wife stays at home, drive kids around amongst various and other sundry things and this rant of mine is not intended to minimize anything she may do.
What is it that I do? Nothing so glamorous as trading stocks on line of which multiple movies have been made. I work in technology, more specifically network technology, where I am kind of a jack of all trades there. I do everything from managing budgets, attending meetings to represent our IT interests to setting up computers and servers, websites, backups, email, etc... you get the idea.
Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I am a computer GEEK (because I know this shit), though I prefer to think of myself as computer GURU (because I'm good at it). At any rate, that's what I do at during the day.
At night I have a small company (you can read into that, I am the company), but saying "I have a small company" sounds better, I started where I develop websites, and specifically I develop backend systems for websites.
I have very few requests, and on top of all I do, I try to make life for those around me as comfortable as possible. I am not a very demanding person in terms of my needs and requests but from time to time, I would like to be treated like I actually do something to take care of those around me. Hell I am the one that keeps the roof over their heads, the water flowing in their toilet, and food in their little tummies.
Yes, it's my choice to do that, but it is no small feat and with it comes a great deal of responsibility and from time to time I suppose I just don't want the responsibility, but then again I suppose everyone feels that way sometimes.
No, I don't know what the answers are, and maybe it's just the mood for today... resentment, not so much for the work , but for this feeling of underappreciation.
I work hard every day. I go to a "normal" job five days a week which typically consists of eight hours of work. Then when I come home I usually retire to my office where I work a minimum of four to six hours every night. I put in a minimum sixteen hours on the weekend.
Why do I work so much? Necessity, see the wife stays at home, drive kids around amongst various and other sundry things and this rant of mine is not intended to minimize anything she may do.
What is it that I do? Nothing so glamorous as trading stocks on line of which multiple movies have been made. I work in technology, more specifically network technology, where I am kind of a jack of all trades there. I do everything from managing budgets, attending meetings to represent our IT interests to setting up computers and servers, websites, backups, email, etc... you get the idea.
Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I am a computer GEEK (because I know this shit), though I prefer to think of myself as computer GURU (because I'm good at it). At any rate, that's what I do at during the day.
At night I have a small company (you can read into that, I am the company), but saying "I have a small company" sounds better, I started where I develop websites, and specifically I develop backend systems for websites.
I have very few requests, and on top of all I do, I try to make life for those around me as comfortable as possible. I am not a very demanding person in terms of my needs and requests but from time to time, I would like to be treated like I actually do something to take care of those around me. Hell I am the one that keeps the roof over their heads, the water flowing in their toilet, and food in their little tummies.
Yes, it's my choice to do that, but it is no small feat and with it comes a great deal of responsibility and from time to time I suppose I just don't want the responsibility, but then again I suppose everyone feels that way sometimes.
No, I don't know what the answers are, and maybe it's just the mood for today... resentment, not so much for the work , but for this feeling of underappreciation.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Road Trip, Part I
She was someone I had seen at work, a receptionist at the office where I work and anytime I saw her, she never failed to give me a smile.
Finally, one morning when I found myself in front of her desk, I offered, "You look nice today." And she did, a thigh length black skirt, tall spiked black leather ( or some semblance thereof) boots, and a tight fitting almost fuzzy pink sweater that barely contained her nicely formed tits.
Her smile broadened and she replied, "Thank you." as she tucked her blonde hair behind her right ear. She looked at me with her blue eyes and added "You really think so?"
Caught off guard, for I was sure she was use to hearing such compliments, the words that came out of my mouth next, showed my surprise. "Well, yeah! You ALWAYS look great!, In fact I've always wanted to ask you to play hooky from work with me."
"Seriously?" she said
"Well, yeah, I was thinking we could ditch work, grab a bottle of wine or two, and make a road trip." I said.
This statement seemed to make her a little uncomfortable, she began to blush a little, and bit her lower lip. "Let me think about that." she said, her posture visibly stiffened and she turned away.
"Talk about taking one in the gut." I thought. I swiveled around on my left foot and returned to my office. Of course I had work to do, but I couldn't stop thinking about how good she looked. Needless to say, I didn't get much work done that morning.
About time for lunch, I decided it was time to actually do some work. So I opted to get a something quick and bring it back to my desk. Heading out of my office I made it to the elevator, punched the button and waited.
Within a moment or two, I felt the presence of someone, and sure enough it was her. "Hi" I said, and she replied back "Hi.", just as the elevator arrived, so we stepped on, and punched our buttons, and it began to move.
She turned to me, reached up with her left hand touched me on the arm and asked in a low sultry voice, "Seriously?".
Taken completely by surprise, but keeping my cool, I slipped my arm around her waist, leaned in to her hear, my lips barely brushing against her ear and whispered "Yes, I'm very serious." She seemed to melt and tense up all at the same time, a little in my arm, and she let out a soft warm "mmmm hmmm".
When we parted, her eyes were half closed, like she was still savoring the moment. I know that touching her had an effect on me as well, as I was beginning to pitch a tent. Damn I hate slacks for that very reason, but this time it seemed to please her.
"I'll call you and we can work it out." I said.
"Okay"
(to be continued)
Finally, one morning when I found myself in front of her desk, I offered, "You look nice today." And she did, a thigh length black skirt, tall spiked black leather ( or some semblance thereof) boots, and a tight fitting almost fuzzy pink sweater that barely contained her nicely formed tits.
Her smile broadened and she replied, "Thank you." as she tucked her blonde hair behind her right ear. She looked at me with her blue eyes and added "You really think so?"
Caught off guard, for I was sure she was use to hearing such compliments, the words that came out of my mouth next, showed my surprise. "Well, yeah! You ALWAYS look great!, In fact I've always wanted to ask you to play hooky from work with me."
"Seriously?" she said
"Well, yeah, I was thinking we could ditch work, grab a bottle of wine or two, and make a road trip." I said.
This statement seemed to make her a little uncomfortable, she began to blush a little, and bit her lower lip. "Let me think about that." she said, her posture visibly stiffened and she turned away.
"Talk about taking one in the gut." I thought. I swiveled around on my left foot and returned to my office. Of course I had work to do, but I couldn't stop thinking about how good she looked. Needless to say, I didn't get much work done that morning.
About time for lunch, I decided it was time to actually do some work. So I opted to get a something quick and bring it back to my desk. Heading out of my office I made it to the elevator, punched the button and waited.
Within a moment or two, I felt the presence of someone, and sure enough it was her. "Hi" I said, and she replied back "Hi.", just as the elevator arrived, so we stepped on, and punched our buttons, and it began to move.
She turned to me, reached up with her left hand touched me on the arm and asked in a low sultry voice, "Seriously?".
Taken completely by surprise, but keeping my cool, I slipped my arm around her waist, leaned in to her hear, my lips barely brushing against her ear and whispered "Yes, I'm very serious." She seemed to melt and tense up all at the same time, a little in my arm, and she let out a soft warm "mmmm hmmm".
When we parted, her eyes were half closed, like she was still savoring the moment. I know that touching her had an effect on me as well, as I was beginning to pitch a tent. Damn I hate slacks for that very reason, but this time it seemed to please her.
"I'll call you and we can work it out." I said.
"Okay"
(to be continued)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Why
"I was born a poor black child." - Steve Martin, The Jerk
Not much do I remember from this movie, but I do remember that line. And I remember too that he had a "special purpose" and that special purpose is something that was meant to be cherished and guarded. He did eventually share his special purpose, as best I can remember with someone that loved and respected him.
I suppose deep within each of us there is a need for acceptance and approval, and depending on the various factors in our life, that need for acceptance ebbs and flows depending with whom we are interacting with at different points in our lives.
Why do should this even be mentioned? Because the need for acceptance and approval drives our actions and reactions to those around us.
When we are in relationships with people that we have committed to make a part of our lives, for the rest of our lives, and we find our need for acceptance and approval not being fulfilled then that creates quite a quandary.
We have two options as I see it, possibly three:
Option 1. We can exist within the relationship without ever trying to change anything.
In reality, this is rarely the answer. Yes, sometimes it is the easiest route, and only one person in the relationship receives fulfillment. And if the person who's needs are not getting fulfilled doesn't feel comfortable or can't try option 2, they will either accept the relationship on the terms dealt to them, or they will go to option 3.
Option 2. Try to change the relationship dynamic so we receive approval and acceptance.
This is probably the first course of action for most people, to try and work out relationship difficulties so both parties receive what they need in the relationship. While this is usually the first course of action.
Option 3. Look elsewhere.
It should be noted that persons finding themselves at option 3, might not actively be looking outside their primary relationship, or at least not aware they are but, they NEED approval and acceptance, and sometimes when it comes to relationships they are found out. There is a vacuum. And Thoreau had something to say about that:
“Nature abhors a vacuum, and if I can only walk with sufficient carelessness I am sure to be filled.”
-- Henry David Thoreau
Mr. Thoreau also said:
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
Suffice it to say that I have been through all the options, and I have vacillated between option 1 and option 2 for a while, for it seems when one approaches a relationship using option 2, things get better for awhile but then they revert.
I have said all that as a background before I give you the backdrop to this play that is I.R. Shackleford.
Yes, there is a Mrs. Shackleford, but if you called her that she would think you are crazy, for you see, she knows nothing about this blog, I doubt she would understand (i.e. she's not THAT open minded), nor would she understand the therapeutic remedy it has provided.
I've found it a point of interest, that no one has asked me why "I.R. Shackleford" or "Shackleford Diaries" as the name for a blog, because I don't expect that anyone thinks that is my real name.
This blog was started as a result of someone expressing interest in me, and yes giving me the approval and acceptance that I needed and needed but, really wasn't looking for at the time. This blog was a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings toward this person when I felt the need. I knew she would read it from time to time.
For reasons, I still do not fully understand, her circumstance changed and the approval and acceptance I had come to expect were no longer there. It was very short lived.
In the process of documenting my thoughts and feelings I ran across those of a kindred spirit. They have commented on this blog, and I theirs. I follow with interest what they have to say, and with what they are going through.
In a funny sort of way, and I know this is really sad, they have provided a sense of approval and acceptance, and for that I am thankful. I have come to appreciate the minds and people behind these blogs because of what they write, it is real, heartfelt and intelligent.
I hope this makes sense.
Not much do I remember from this movie, but I do remember that line. And I remember too that he had a "special purpose" and that special purpose is something that was meant to be cherished and guarded. He did eventually share his special purpose, as best I can remember with someone that loved and respected him.
I suppose deep within each of us there is a need for acceptance and approval, and depending on the various factors in our life, that need for acceptance ebbs and flows depending with whom we are interacting with at different points in our lives.
Why do should this even be mentioned? Because the need for acceptance and approval drives our actions and reactions to those around us.
When we are in relationships with people that we have committed to make a part of our lives, for the rest of our lives, and we find our need for acceptance and approval not being fulfilled then that creates quite a quandary.
We have two options as I see it, possibly three:
Option 1. We can exist within the relationship without ever trying to change anything.
In reality, this is rarely the answer. Yes, sometimes it is the easiest route, and only one person in the relationship receives fulfillment. And if the person who's needs are not getting fulfilled doesn't feel comfortable or can't try option 2, they will either accept the relationship on the terms dealt to them, or they will go to option 3.
Option 2. Try to change the relationship dynamic so we receive approval and acceptance.
This is probably the first course of action for most people, to try and work out relationship difficulties so both parties receive what they need in the relationship. While this is usually the first course of action.
Option 3. Look elsewhere.
It should be noted that persons finding themselves at option 3, might not actively be looking outside their primary relationship, or at least not aware they are but, they NEED approval and acceptance, and sometimes when it comes to relationships they are found out. There is a vacuum. And Thoreau had something to say about that:
“Nature abhors a vacuum, and if I can only walk with sufficient carelessness I am sure to be filled.”
-- Henry David Thoreau
Mr. Thoreau also said:
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
Suffice it to say that I have been through all the options, and I have vacillated between option 1 and option 2 for a while, for it seems when one approaches a relationship using option 2, things get better for awhile but then they revert.
I have said all that as a background before I give you the backdrop to this play that is I.R. Shackleford.
Yes, there is a Mrs. Shackleford, but if you called her that she would think you are crazy, for you see, she knows nothing about this blog, I doubt she would understand (i.e. she's not THAT open minded), nor would she understand the therapeutic remedy it has provided.
I've found it a point of interest, that no one has asked me why "I.R. Shackleford" or "Shackleford Diaries" as the name for a blog, because I don't expect that anyone thinks that is my real name.
This blog was started as a result of someone expressing interest in me, and yes giving me the approval and acceptance that I needed and needed but, really wasn't looking for at the time. This blog was a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings toward this person when I felt the need. I knew she would read it from time to time.
For reasons, I still do not fully understand, her circumstance changed and the approval and acceptance I had come to expect were no longer there. It was very short lived.
In the process of documenting my thoughts and feelings I ran across those of a kindred spirit. They have commented on this blog, and I theirs. I follow with interest what they have to say, and with what they are going through.
In a funny sort of way, and I know this is really sad, they have provided a sense of approval and acceptance, and for that I am thankful. I have come to appreciate the minds and people behind these blogs because of what they write, it is real, heartfelt and intelligent.
I hope this makes sense.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
She
For the life of me I can’t remember the poem I was composing as I was falling asleep last night. As far as my poetry goes, it wasn’t half bad. No I do not imagine myself to be one but every once in a while there are words bouncing around in my gray matter that really do convey what I am feeling and they need to come out.
She Comes to Me
She comes to me softly,
In the middle of my slumber,
Her desire is evident,
An insatiable hunger,
Pressing up against me,
Her desire to consume,
Turning over, I see
Nothing in the room.
Save for the gentle outlines
Of her face so sweet,
But in her eyes, unmistakable,
On me she wants to feast.
I yield to her advances,
Her beauty I behold,
But growing deep within
Desire, grown of old,
From something once repressed,
Aching to be free,
Thankful that finally,
She can trust me.
-- I.R. Shackleford
PS. Please forgive any misspellings, I am a terrible speller, and I know the words I want to use, but sometimes after Word gets through with them, I might not have them in the correct context. The word that prompted me to put this post script was “insatiable”. It just looks funny now, but please feel free to let me know if something doesn’t look right.
She Comes to Me
She comes to me softly,
In the middle of my slumber,
Her desire is evident,
An insatiable hunger,
Pressing up against me,
Her desire to consume,
Turning over, I see
Nothing in the room.
Save for the gentle outlines
Of her face so sweet,
But in her eyes, unmistakable,
On me she wants to feast.
I yield to her advances,
Her beauty I behold,
But growing deep within
Desire, grown of old,
From something once repressed,
Aching to be free,
Thankful that finally,
She can trust me.
-- I.R. Shackleford
PS. Please forgive any misspellings, I am a terrible speller, and I know the words I want to use, but sometimes after Word gets through with them, I might not have them in the correct context. The word that prompted me to put this post script was “insatiable”. It just looks funny now, but please feel free to let me know if something doesn’t look right.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
HNT
Okay, I know it's not Thursday but I may not be around on Thursday so, after some arm twisting and following through on a bet/dare by Helen and Button here is my very first HNT.
Please note, part of said bet/dare, was that Helen would send a pic to Veni's Anonymous HNT, if Veni, is willing to post it. Helen doesn't have a blog she wants to share with us. I forgive her anyway. We will see.
"After Shower"
Please note, part of said bet/dare, was that Helen would send a pic to Veni's Anonymous HNT, if Veni, is willing to post it. Helen doesn't have a blog she wants to share with us. I forgive her anyway. We will see.
"After Shower"
Whatever
I've always felt strongly about the word "whatever", it is so many things rolled into one. But most of all it's dismissive, and I don't mean it that way in in the context of this post. In this case, it is dismissive not of you but more of holding on to the past.
See, I’ve been reading back over this blog and the things I have written over the past few months, and at some point, I realized today, I stopped writing for you, and I started writing for me. I imagine I will continue to write, though I’m not sure if I will change the name of this blog or not, because it isn’t for you anymore, and I know you don’t read it that much.
I know all that sounds kind of depressing, but it’s not in the least. I’ve taken some of your advice and the advice of some of my blogger friends and have started to do some proactive things in my marriage. I don’t know if they will make a difference, but I know not doing anything can only make it worse.
So there it is, ultimately it is my choice on life, love, happiness, and I suppose, being the eternal optimist that I am, I will bump my head against the wall some more and see what happens. Shake the tree and see if any apples fall down. Sorry, I liked the tree shaking analogy and wanted to use it.
So what does all this mean? I guess it means I don’t need you like I did at one time, hell, I wasn’t really looking for anyone when I found you. I knew something was missing and I looked to you to fill that, and probably still would.
So what did you say in the beginning? “This can only end bad?” Well, I guess it didn’t end that bad after all.
See, I’ve been reading back over this blog and the things I have written over the past few months, and at some point, I realized today, I stopped writing for you, and I started writing for me. I imagine I will continue to write, though I’m not sure if I will change the name of this blog or not, because it isn’t for you anymore, and I know you don’t read it that much.
I know all that sounds kind of depressing, but it’s not in the least. I’ve taken some of your advice and the advice of some of my blogger friends and have started to do some proactive things in my marriage. I don’t know if they will make a difference, but I know not doing anything can only make it worse.
So there it is, ultimately it is my choice on life, love, happiness, and I suppose, being the eternal optimist that I am, I will bump my head against the wall some more and see what happens. Shake the tree and see if any apples fall down. Sorry, I liked the tree shaking analogy and wanted to use it.
So what does all this mean? I guess it means I don’t need you like I did at one time, hell, I wasn’t really looking for anyone when I found you. I knew something was missing and I looked to you to fill that, and probably still would.
So what did you say in the beginning? “This can only end bad?” Well, I guess it didn’t end that bad after all.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Today
Today
Note: Please as you read this do not judge me. I am sharing more than I ever have with anyone. I do not write this to brag, but merely to document. Please look at it from that perspective.
I debated about even posting my activities for today, for fear someone might think “bad” for me for what I am about to tell, but it is some of what goes into making up whom I am.
Today was a banner ego building day. It is late and I am tired but I wanted to write about it while it was somewhat fresh on my mind.
Today I was spent traveling by car about 400 miles to another city in my state. I will be out of town most of the week. That said, the wife always, what I consider a going out of town fuck on those weeks that I do have to travel. That brings up a whole other topic which I may talk about sometime, but suffice to say this time she did not.
On my way out of town I stopped at a gas station I frequent to fill up, and the girl behind the counter made it a point to tell me she was not in a relationship at the current time, then asked me for my phone number, and even fondled my finger a little while I was signing my receipt. Needless to say this did worlds for my ego, though she is not really my type… I’m just saying. The day started out well.
As I have already said, the trip was a long one though I have driven much further in the past, but today I was just not comfortable in the car. My upper back was really tight and I have been trying to get in to see a masseuse for a couple days. About 300 miles into the trip I saw a sign for “therapeutic massage” about 50 miles ahead.
I have always not held such places in high regard but today, given the fact I was driving and my back hurt and I had 50 miles to think about it, as I approached the exit, I veered off at the last minute. I almost got back on the interstate but something, something made me pull up to the place.
Yes, it was an oriental massage place. Ok I know what you are thinking, hell I was thinking it… “happy ending” but that is really not why I was there and at this point I really didn’t care, I was committed. I went in, and the prices were 30 min for $60 or 1 hour for $80. Well being the bargain hunter that I am I could see the value in a 1 hour massage.
I was met by the small oriental lady, and she showed me to my room, and told me in broken English to get undressed and lay down on the table. there were not any sheet s to cover up with on the table which I was accustom to but, hell she had my money. She left and I did as instructed. I was not given any instruction on face up or face down so I opted for face down, my naked ass pointing toward the ceiling.
She came back in and began to give me my massage. Everything proceeded as normal, well I assume normal for an oriental massage. It consisted of her rubbing, chopping, and yes even walking on my back and it was wonderful.
She actually put me in to various positions so she could massage my arms and chest, and I have to say it really was the most complete massage I had ever had. When it was all said and done, she was standing over me a towel was draped over my pecker. She looked at my pecker, and said “you want me massage?”
Now I know you will not believe this as you read, but it was totally unexpected for her to say that, and I had totally dismissed the thought of a happy ending about 2 minutes after walking into the establishment. I mean the thought was so far out of my mind, my pecker was laying there quite comfortable enjoying just hanging out. Before I realized it I had said yes. It was almost surreal, in one had she had my pecker and in the other my balls.
This woman was gifted in the art of the “happy ending” for she had my pecker standing at attention with a couple of firm strokes. This seemed to make her happy, and it didn’t take long because I was already in a bad way.
Left there feeling, quite satisfied and relaxed.
Once I got to my destination, it was still early and I decided to visit a nearby casino. I love going to these places because I enjoy meeting people and talking to them, and yes I enjoy gambling.
About an hour or so into the gambling, there was this small group of one guy and two girls that came up to play. They were a little younger than I, still in college from what I gathered. The way it ended up I was sitting next to one of the girls, she was sitting next to the other girl then the guy.
I gave the girls some money to play with because I didn’t want them to get bored and struck up a conversation with the girl sitting next to me. As it turn out, the guy use to be her boyfriend but wasn’t any longer.
To make a long story short, because it is late and I am tired and my beer is wearing off. The girl began to flirt with me a little, touching my shoulder. I figured what the hell, I’ve had 6 beers. I began playing footsies with her and she seemed to enjoy it.
Well needless to say her X boyfriend didn’t like it. He had I don’t know how many rum and cokes, but, just enough to start letting his pride get in the way. She went to sit next to him after a bit, and my beer was kicking in really good by then, so, I started playing footsies with her around the other girl.
She got up to go to the restroom, so I gave her time to get there, then I went. My timing was perfect, she was exiting the women's restroom just as I was the men’s. I put my finger up in the air and motioned for her to come over to me. Oh, there was a twinkle in her eye. All I really wanted was a kiss and I was intent upon getting one. And damn if jealous x-boyfriend didn’t come around the corner.
The three of them left after that, and I will never see her again, but damn, that was the first time I have really been that forward with a woman that I didn’t know.
Then on my way back to my hotel, I stopped at a waffle house. And damn if there wasn’t another young attractive woman that was interested in me. I talked with her for a bit, drank my coffee and ate my eggs and toast. I paid and left but hell, it felt good to have another 25 Year old woman interested in me.
Today was a banner day, a day of two firsts.
I will never go to an oriental massage again, and the happy ending really isn’t why I went there, I kept expecting cops to jump out from somewhere about half way through it when what was going on really hit me. Hell, they probably got my picture, and are mailing it to my house right now.
And, a very attractive 25 year old woman was interested in me, and I didn’t shy away. I don’t know what would have happened or even if I would have let anything happen, but it’s nice to know, even though she had been drinking, she was interested.
Note: Please as you read this do not judge me. I am sharing more than I ever have with anyone. I do not write this to brag, but merely to document. Please look at it from that perspective.
I debated about even posting my activities for today, for fear someone might think “bad” for me for what I am about to tell, but it is some of what goes into making up whom I am.
Today was a banner ego building day. It is late and I am tired but I wanted to write about it while it was somewhat fresh on my mind.
Today I was spent traveling by car about 400 miles to another city in my state. I will be out of town most of the week. That said, the wife always, what I consider a going out of town fuck on those weeks that I do have to travel. That brings up a whole other topic which I may talk about sometime, but suffice to say this time she did not.
On my way out of town I stopped at a gas station I frequent to fill up, and the girl behind the counter made it a point to tell me she was not in a relationship at the current time, then asked me for my phone number, and even fondled my finger a little while I was signing my receipt. Needless to say this did worlds for my ego, though she is not really my type… I’m just saying. The day started out well.
As I have already said, the trip was a long one though I have driven much further in the past, but today I was just not comfortable in the car. My upper back was really tight and I have been trying to get in to see a masseuse for a couple days. About 300 miles into the trip I saw a sign for “therapeutic massage” about 50 miles ahead.
I have always not held such places in high regard but today, given the fact I was driving and my back hurt and I had 50 miles to think about it, as I approached the exit, I veered off at the last minute. I almost got back on the interstate but something, something made me pull up to the place.
Yes, it was an oriental massage place. Ok I know what you are thinking, hell I was thinking it… “happy ending” but that is really not why I was there and at this point I really didn’t care, I was committed. I went in, and the prices were 30 min for $60 or 1 hour for $80. Well being the bargain hunter that I am I could see the value in a 1 hour massage.
I was met by the small oriental lady, and she showed me to my room, and told me in broken English to get undressed and lay down on the table. there were not any sheet s to cover up with on the table which I was accustom to but, hell she had my money. She left and I did as instructed. I was not given any instruction on face up or face down so I opted for face down, my naked ass pointing toward the ceiling.
She came back in and began to give me my massage. Everything proceeded as normal, well I assume normal for an oriental massage. It consisted of her rubbing, chopping, and yes even walking on my back and it was wonderful.
She actually put me in to various positions so she could massage my arms and chest, and I have to say it really was the most complete massage I had ever had. When it was all said and done, she was standing over me a towel was draped over my pecker. She looked at my pecker, and said “you want me massage?”
Now I know you will not believe this as you read, but it was totally unexpected for her to say that, and I had totally dismissed the thought of a happy ending about 2 minutes after walking into the establishment. I mean the thought was so far out of my mind, my pecker was laying there quite comfortable enjoying just hanging out. Before I realized it I had said yes. It was almost surreal, in one had she had my pecker and in the other my balls.
This woman was gifted in the art of the “happy ending” for she had my pecker standing at attention with a couple of firm strokes. This seemed to make her happy, and it didn’t take long because I was already in a bad way.
Left there feeling, quite satisfied and relaxed.
Once I got to my destination, it was still early and I decided to visit a nearby casino. I love going to these places because I enjoy meeting people and talking to them, and yes I enjoy gambling.
About an hour or so into the gambling, there was this small group of one guy and two girls that came up to play. They were a little younger than I, still in college from what I gathered. The way it ended up I was sitting next to one of the girls, she was sitting next to the other girl then the guy.
I gave the girls some money to play with because I didn’t want them to get bored and struck up a conversation with the girl sitting next to me. As it turn out, the guy use to be her boyfriend but wasn’t any longer.
To make a long story short, because it is late and I am tired and my beer is wearing off. The girl began to flirt with me a little, touching my shoulder. I figured what the hell, I’ve had 6 beers. I began playing footsies with her and she seemed to enjoy it.
Well needless to say her X boyfriend didn’t like it. He had I don’t know how many rum and cokes, but, just enough to start letting his pride get in the way. She went to sit next to him after a bit, and my beer was kicking in really good by then, so, I started playing footsies with her around the other girl.
She got up to go to the restroom, so I gave her time to get there, then I went. My timing was perfect, she was exiting the women's restroom just as I was the men’s. I put my finger up in the air and motioned for her to come over to me. Oh, there was a twinkle in her eye. All I really wanted was a kiss and I was intent upon getting one. And damn if jealous x-boyfriend didn’t come around the corner.
The three of them left after that, and I will never see her again, but damn, that was the first time I have really been that forward with a woman that I didn’t know.
Then on my way back to my hotel, I stopped at a waffle house. And damn if there wasn’t another young attractive woman that was interested in me. I talked with her for a bit, drank my coffee and ate my eggs and toast. I paid and left but hell, it felt good to have another 25 Year old woman interested in me.
Today was a banner day, a day of two firsts.
I will never go to an oriental massage again, and the happy ending really isn’t why I went there, I kept expecting cops to jump out from somewhere about half way through it when what was going on really hit me. Hell, they probably got my picture, and are mailing it to my house right now.
And, a very attractive 25 year old woman was interested in me, and I didn’t shy away. I don’t know what would have happened or even if I would have let anything happen, but it’s nice to know, even though she had been drinking, she was interested.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Expectations, Part III
The thing about passion, expectations and desire is very rarely are they static. In light of my thoughts as of late about these topics it occurred to me that the parameters which define these things today will not be the same parameters which define them tomorrow.
So what does this realization mean? It means that it is the parameters effecting passion, desire and expectations are constantly changing because of my experiences.
I have to admit I was kind of proud of this realization, well maybe not so proud as much as relieved because it has helped me to have a better understanding of myself, and to focus on those things which are important.
No, it does not mean that all my passions, desires, and exceptions are fulfilled, but they just may change.
So what does this realization mean? It means that it is the parameters effecting passion, desire and expectations are constantly changing because of my experiences.
I have to admit I was kind of proud of this realization, well maybe not so proud as much as relieved because it has helped me to have a better understanding of myself, and to focus on those things which are important.
No, it does not mean that all my passions, desires, and exceptions are fulfilled, but they just may change.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Expectations, Part II
I’ve given some thought in response to some comments about expectations and have come to a conclusion or two and it wasn’t until I was actually doing this that I realized something about myself. I am a list person of sorts. You would never guess that by looking at my desk, I got shit everywhere. Nor do I make lists when I go to my local Wal-Mart. But when it comes to matters of this nature I do have to organize.
Anyway, this seems the logical way to deal with expectations:
Note: before you read any further, it is not one of my desires, fantasies, or expectations to have my toes sucked. Toe sucking is merely the first thing that popped into my head to use as an example.
Determine my expectations, not only from others but from myself as well. We can all pretty much come up with a list of expectations we have of others and they generally start with “I wish she would suck my toes.”
Evaluate my expectations and ask myself if they are reasonable or not. An unreasonable expectation might be “I wish she would suck my toes and tell me she loves it.” Because I know she has this thing about feet.
Express my expectations in as non-confrontational manner as possible. I mean I could say “Suck my toes, bitch!” but that might not be a wise move on my part.
Reevaluate my expectations based on feedback. Given the previous example “she” might say something like. “Fuck you! You son of a bitch!” With this helpful feedback I could rephrase my expectations… “Would you please suck my toes?” Then ever so softly, “bitch.”
All said and done this has been a good exercise for me.
Anyway, this seems the logical way to deal with expectations:
Note: before you read any further, it is not one of my desires, fantasies, or expectations to have my toes sucked. Toe sucking is merely the first thing that popped into my head to use as an example.
Determine my expectations, not only from others but from myself as well. We can all pretty much come up with a list of expectations we have of others and they generally start with “I wish she would suck my toes.”
Evaluate my expectations and ask myself if they are reasonable or not. An unreasonable expectation might be “I wish she would suck my toes and tell me she loves it.” Because I know she has this thing about feet.
Express my expectations in as non-confrontational manner as possible. I mean I could say “Suck my toes, bitch!” but that might not be a wise move on my part.
Reevaluate my expectations based on feedback. Given the previous example “she” might say something like. “Fuck you! You son of a bitch!” With this helpful feedback I could rephrase my expectations… “Would you please suck my toes?” Then ever so softly, “bitch.”
All said and done this has been a good exercise for me.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Expectations
I have given a lot of thought to the word expect, or more to the point the word expectations.
Of course, I’m sure others have expectations of me such as, I bring home a pay check or I continue showing up at work. I would consider these rudimentary type expectations, unless I totally wig out one day and drive past the exit I must take to go to work, and believe me the thought has crossed my mind, more than once. But these types of expectations aren’t really expectations they are givens. It is a given I will do those things.
Then of course there are the expectations I have and maybe it is because of the mood I have been in recently or something related, but it has caused me to have fewer and fewer expectations of others. I find it is easier that way.
Simply put if I expect nothing, then nothing can be done to disappoint me. To take that a step further, if I have expectations of others then I, to a degree, relinquish some of myself reliance.
Of course, I’m sure others have expectations of me such as, I bring home a pay check or I continue showing up at work. I would consider these rudimentary type expectations, unless I totally wig out one day and drive past the exit I must take to go to work, and believe me the thought has crossed my mind, more than once. But these types of expectations aren’t really expectations they are givens. It is a given I will do those things.
Then of course there are the expectations I have and maybe it is because of the mood I have been in recently or something related, but it has caused me to have fewer and fewer expectations of others. I find it is easier that way.
Simply put if I expect nothing, then nothing can be done to disappoint me. To take that a step further, if I have expectations of others then I, to a degree, relinquish some of myself reliance.
To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. - Joan Didion
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Cumbersome
I've given this topic a great deal of thought lately and I think this pretty much sums up the way I feel as of late. It is kinda like I don't know what to do next. No this is not directed toward anyone in particular, it is just a feeling in general. It may even be directed at myself, who knows.
Do you ever feel this way? Cumbersome, awkward, goofy, stupid, or just can't do anything right? I like to characterize is as being a moron, a social moron, a relationship moron.
If I were to look at this feeling objectively (i.e. if someone came to me and said they felt this way), I suppose I would tell them they need to find their own happy place within, because what it boils down to in the long run, people will let you down, and if you look to anyone else for any feelings of self-worth you will always be disappointed.
Ah, but like all psychologists, yes, I fancy myself an amateur psychologist, I know what one needs to do to solve their problems, and freely offer my advise but, rarely do I follow it. That brings up another observation about psychologists that being, most of them go into that profession because they are pretty screwed up themselves, but that is a topic for another discussion.
Now I'm rambling, and I believe this too will pass.
Anyway, love this song.
Cumbersome Lyrics:
Do you ever feel this way? Cumbersome, awkward, goofy, stupid, or just can't do anything right? I like to characterize is as being a moron, a social moron, a relationship moron.
If I were to look at this feeling objectively (i.e. if someone came to me and said they felt this way), I suppose I would tell them they need to find their own happy place within, because what it boils down to in the long run, people will let you down, and if you look to anyone else for any feelings of self-worth you will always be disappointed.
Ah, but like all psychologists, yes, I fancy myself an amateur psychologist, I know what one needs to do to solve their problems, and freely offer my advise but, rarely do I follow it. That brings up another observation about psychologists that being, most of them go into that profession because they are pretty screwed up themselves, but that is a topic for another discussion.
Now I'm rambling, and I believe this too will pass.
Anyway, love this song.
Cumbersome Lyrics:
She calls me Goliath and I wear the David mask
I guess the stones are coming too fast for her now
I'd like to believe this nervousness will pass
All the stones that are thrown are building up a wall
I have become, cumbersome to this world
I have become, cumbersome to my girl
I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past
Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance
But my old stone face can't seem to break her down
She remembers bridges and burns them to the ground
I have become, cumbersome to this world
I have become, cumbersome to my girl
(Chorus)
Too heavy, too light, too black or too white
Too wrong or too right, today or tonight
Cumbersome
Too rich or too poor, she's wanting me less
And I'm wanting her more
The bitter taste is cumbersome
Yeah! Ah, yeah, no... yeah. Ohhh.
There is a balance between two worlds
One with an arrow and a cross
Regardless of the balance, life has become cumbersome
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