The days have been long and I find myself getting tired, physically tired. I do hope I’m not getting sick. It usually seems this time of year when it gets dark so early I find it difficult to motivate myself and even find myself out of sorts. I am determined not to let that happen this year though I can’t wait for December 21 when the days begin to get longer again. I’m going to keep the running up and have set some goals, I will be running in some runs around here preparing for a ½ marathon.
This week has seemed unusually busy and that my have something to do with my lack of motivation. I have found myself thinking about you and when I can spend some time with you again because you are such a joy for me to be around. I find myself laughing, smiling, and seem to forget all my cares if only for a little while. I find myself wanting you and desiring to take you and ravish you then to lay with you hold you, entangled with you.
And with all the holidays coming up it may be a while and with your resolve some of those things may never happen. But, I still think about them and maybe my promise to honor your wishes may soon be diminished.
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5 years ago
3 comments:
This might be strange to hear but, I find myself envying the position you're in. I wish I could have that resolve, that will power to stay away. Knowing that you keep her in your thoughts is painfully beautiful.
oh, how heartbreaking. This could have been written to me by a certain someone, and I prefer to be in denial about his pain.
But you handle yours so gracefully. I hope he does too...
mybutton: It is difficult, but I do think about her, that's part of my reasons for this blog. I've got to have some sort of outlet, and I know she reads it from time to time.
conquette: I told her in the beginning she is in control of our relationship. I will never force anything or demand anything. For me to do anything else would, hmmm, not be right. I want her to want me if that makes sense.
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