Careful Lady

Went to bed early night the W and I had already discussed having sex.

I counted negative statements tonight. I don't ever remember counting the number of negative statements EVER before or during sex before but tonight I did.

1. "Oh I smell garlic." (precoitus) I figure I can fix this, along with brushing my teeth, decided on some Orbit Citrus Mint, it's palatable and should mask any offending odors to an acceptable degree.

At this point I am pretty much still feeling amorous and wanting to please her, desiring her, really trying to let passion take control.

2." Can you take the gum out of your mouth?" Okay.

3. "Don't leave any marks!" while kissing, nibbling and biting on her neck. Check.

At this point I decide to go down on her, deciding this would be best at this junction of our coital activities.

4. "Your beard is rough", Roger.

Objection noted, roll head forward, to avoid any offensive abrasions from the chin.

5. "That hand is cold", at his point I mentally went 10-7(1). Let's fucking get this over with so I can go to sleep because I have to get up early in the morning.

After she got her cookie it was my turn. Does anyone think I got my dick sucked or anything and a had a little time spent on me? (please note "YES" would be the wrong answer here). I knew my dog was outside the door and I had half a mind to go find the jar of peanut butter(2).

Needless to say she yielded so I could get my cookie too. It seemed to take forever because quite frankly, I wasn't feeling it...

Ladies, you think your man doesn't or can't fake an orgasm? Think again. But, that's a topic for another time.

I'm not really in the mood to go into an elaborate explanation of all my thoughts right now, consider it sufficient enough to say. I was feeling passionate tonight and to be honest in that state of mind, one is willing to tolerate a lot.

Example: "Oh yeah your hi-heel is digging into my chest to the point of drawing blood, but fucking you as hard as I am feels great and I ain't gonna stop for nothing. That's what I brought the bandages for, we can do triage afterward."

But five fucking strikes, yeah that kills the mood.

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(1) For those of you who may not know, 10-7 is a police code for "out-of-service"

(2) Please note, I have never tempted my dog with peanut butter or anything else for that matter. I've only made reference to that subject on occasion because it is a line from a movie. Road Trip I think... I don't feel like looking it up right now.